Remains of 25 individuals returned to their grieving families

On Monday morning I woke up at 4 o'clock. And by five o'clock I had already showered, dressed, packed my suitcase, and started my three-hour journey from Cartagena along the Caribbean coast towards the city of Santa Marta. Under the cover of darkness, my taxi driver Roberto and I traveled along desolate highways past one slumbering village after another. And every few miles we came to heavily guarded military checkpoints and I was tempted to ask Roberto how safe the highways were at that time of the morning. In my head I wondered about the best way to ask the question. "Is it safe to be out here?" Or, "How do you feel about driving in the dark?" Or maybe, "Is this really a good idea?" After several minutes of formulating the question in my head I decided to just remain silent. I figured that he might not understand the point of my question. Or maybe I was just afraid to know the answer.

As the sun slowly began to rise we sped along in our air-conditioned Renault past farmers riding atop donkeys carrying produce to the market. We raced alongside sandy beaches and towering groves of palm trees and past silent fishermen as they paddled out to sea in their wooden canoes. My eyes felt heavy and my mind wandered to the ceremony that would take place in just a few hours.

So I picked up my pen and notepad and began writing down a few of my thoughts. I wrote some of the questions that I hoped to ask the family members attending this historic event. I wondered how best to ask about the deaths of their loved ones and the deeply personal significance of receiving their remains after so many years. I wanted to learn from their experiences but worried that my questions would be perceived as being insensitive, intrusive, or just simply inappropriate for such a solemn moment. I wondered about what I would ask...

So, where are you from? How was your trip? What do you do for a living? How long ago did your loved one die? How did it happen? Were you able to attend the exhumation? Would you have liked to attend if given the chance? Did the authorities help you to understand the exhumation process and how the remains would be identified? Do you feel safe enough to return to your community? Do you worry that participating in this event might affect the safety of your family? What's next for you and your family?

At 8 o'clock we finally arrived to the majestic San Pedro de Alejandrino estate where the ceremony was set to begin an hour later. After changing into my suit and tie I sat under the big white tent and waited. There I started to talk with a some of those in attendance and I asked them a few of my questions. I met one young woman whose husband was killed by the paramilitaries when he was just 24 years old. She was pregnant when he was killed and she was left to care for their two-year-old son. Three days after his death, she packed up her belongings and headed to the city where she hoped to escape the violence. In the 10 years since that day, she has been too afraid to go back to her village.

I also met a very kind, elderly woman from Valledupar. She lost two of her sons in the war, one to the side of the guerrillas and the other to the paramilitaries. She told me how they were "such good boys" and "very hard working." Killed just days apart, they were 33 and 24 years old at the time of their deaths. Then I asked her about the psychological support she had received during the previous two days.

"During the workshops, the psychologist asked us if we carried hatred or bitterness in our hearts towards those who took away our loved ones. And to be honest, I don't hate anyone. Not even those who stole my sons. Of course, I would like to see justice. But even if justice is never served here on earth, I know that they will eventually have to answer to God. Just as God has forgiven me for my past wrongdoings, He has given me the ability to forgive them. I am just looking forward to the day when I see my sons again once we are in heaven. I don't hate anyone."

"It was a difficult and painful ceremony," stated Colombian Vice President Francisco Santos Calderón when referring to Monday's special event where the remains of 25 individuals were returned to their families. "They were innocent victims, killed because they refused to choose sides between the guerrillas and paramilitaries." The Vice President urged those in attendance to "teach the rest of us how to achieve peace and reconciliation in Colombia because only you who have suffered such great injustice can truly understand what it means to forgive."

Of those whose remains were exhumed and identified, 16 were men (including one 13-year-old boy) and 9 were women. Each had been killed 10 years earlier by guerrillas or paramilitaries and were recovered from four different unmarked graves in 2006. This was the second such ceremony held in Colombia since exhumations began in 2006.